There’s no getting around it. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation is a terrible movie. That doesn’t stop The Last Row Podcast from having some fun with it! Drew and Badway spend about a minute discussing what went right and about 50 minutes discussing what went wrong, ultimately devolving into a conversation about how the movie compares to the production quality of an “adult film” parody of itself. Things go downhill from there. Prepare yourself. Things get Toasty.
Drew and Badway get an “F+” in attendance when it comes to putting out episodes of The Last Row Podcast lately, so the guys put in a little extra credit with an extended look at the 90s action/thriller The Substitute. Is Tom Berenger a sloppy fighter? Is running drugs through a school really a good plan? Is Juan Lacas an effective gang leader? Why did Marc Anthony look so sickly in this movie? Can you do a love scene with a woman in a full leg cast? So many questions. Take notes, there WILL be a test!
This week the guys bring you a detailed breakdown of all things Point Break. Adrenaline junkies Drew and Badway are talking Gary Busey’s awful surveillance tactics, Johnny Utah’s flimsy undercover back story, and Bodhi’s outlook on life. Other topics include: ID’ing a perp via butthole, surfer etiquette and their attitudes towards outsiders, an “is surfing a sport?” debate, and a semi-hot take on the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Finally, the guys answer some burning questions from the depths of the IMDB message boards.
For The Last Row Podcast’s first episode of 2017, Drew and Badway turn to an old friend in Steven Seagal, who IS, in fact, Hard to Kill! We’re talking bad stakeout habits, speedy coma recoveries, penis monitors, Seagal’s love-making techniques, and goons in bolo ties. This episode is great, and you can take that to the bank!
- Steven Seagal & Kelly LeBrock on Arsenio Hall Promoting Hard to Kill
- The Blood Bank concept art (greatest terrible idea we’ve ever had)
Check out our other Steven Seagal episodes:
This week on The Last Row Podcast, we take a peek into the window of our future by watching the 1993 classic, Demolition Man. Is freezing the world’s criminals for safe-keeping a good idea for a wussified society? No cursing? No sexual contact? All Taco Bell everything??? Drew and Badway are skeptical. Other topics include: Leaders dressed as Popes, Denis Leary bullying people into buying Ford trucks, timecist behavior towards thawed men, and a possible solution to the Three Seashells riddle. Be well!
Avoid the voodoo curse by listening to The Last Row’s episode on Steven Seagal’s classic, Marked For Death! Drew and Badway are talking ponytails, poor attempts at voodoo curses, jackets with animals on them, and the effectiveness of threatening a doctor to make sure your niece doesn’t die. Other topics include: Jimmy Fingers and his friend in the closet, Screwface as an all-time villain, bad guy lairs, movie bone snaps, and how Seagal killed Screwface 6 times. The episode wraps up with a game of “Seagal Direct-to-DVD Movie Title or Classic Hip-Hop Album?”
Watch Marked for Death: Amazon
The Last Row Podcast turns thirty episodes old! Drew and Badway celebrate by discussing and enjoying the Cage/Travolta masterpiece, Face/Off! Key topics include: that weird face-touch move the Archers do, Castor Troy’s villain box of goodies, the absurdity of using a Wilhelm Scream on a toe shot, preserving Travolta’s face in a bowl of water, and pointing out the OBVIOUS reason why a wife could tell her real husband isn’t in bed with her. Eventually, the guys get serious and analyze the number one rule of surviving a Mexican Standoff, question the accuracy of moviebodycounts.com, and argue whether a speedboat or an airplane is a better getaway vehicle.
Get your quarters ready, turn up the techno beats, and guard your brother’s soul…It’s time for MORTAL KOMBAT! The Last Row Podcast heads straight into Outworld to break down all of the Toasties, Get Over Here’s, Flawless Victories, and Liu Kang Bicycle Kick Screams you can handle. Drew and Badway uppercut important issues about the Mortal Kombat mythology such as: the accommodations at the tournament, the arbitrary rules for invading dimensions, the questionable fighter selection process, and the betting odds of Liu Kang’s eighty pound little brother versus Shang Tsung. Finally, the guys recast the fighters and debate the best “real life” fighters who would defend Earth if there were a real Mortal Kombat tourney.
Just in time for the Stanley Cup Finals, The Last Row Podcast honors the underappreciated Jean-Claude Van Damme classic, Sudden Death. Drew and Badway have an extensive discussion about the iconic Jean-Claude goalie scene, while pondering his Canadian semi-pro career, his effectiveness (and perhaps overqualification) as a firefighter, and put Darren McCord’s skills up against another fictional hockey legend, Gordon Bombay. The guys also choose the possible fits for other actors in similar logic-defying championship sports roles, recast Sudden Death for the reboot that will never happen, and break down the four different levels of sports mascots and rank them based on fighting prowess.
Fresh off the Furious 7 premiere, the guys are all hopped up on adrenaline and NOS energy drinks, and are here to give you a suped-up episode dedicated to the entire Fast and Furious franchise. Drew and Badway do a quick rundown of each film, rank them, and explore the series’ revolutionary way of titling its sequels. Other topics include: Dominic Toretto as a cult leader, Brian as the worst undercover cop, real life street racing lifestyles, the definition of a “buster,” a peek at the villain wikia’s absurd tagging system, and an analysis of the series’ shift from street racing to Ocean’s Eleven style heist movies. The guys also take a few moments to pay tribute to Paul Walker and his Brian O’Conner character, as well as attempt to find a suitable replacement in future Fast movies. Finally, Badway goes on a passionate rant, rallying against the franchise’s haters and closeted fans.