Category Archives: Blog

The Last Row’s Guide to Movie Nostalgia

We often get asked about our favorite movies. As two guys who pretty much grew up in the 90s, we wanted to give you a glimpse into what movies we consider “classics” from our formative years.

This list is just the tip of the iceberg, but if you haven’t seen these movies, we highly recommend that you check them out.

If you want to listen to us discuss this list, listen to our On Demand EP 48 found here.

Drew’s List (in no particular order):

Sidekicks (1992), Directed by Aaron Norris – (IMDB 4.9/10)

This movie has it all…Nerdy kid learning karate to fight his high school bully, Winnie Cooper, that other Bridges brother, and most importantly, Chuck Norris. This movie came out before Chuck Norris was “a thing” and now not a thing. I’d venture to say if this movie came out during that time period, this movie would have destroyed the Internet.

Watch Sidekicks: YouTube

Short Circuit (1986), Directed by John Bradham – (IMDB 6.6/10)

What’s not to love about an adorable robot with emotive eyebrow flaps who thinks he’s alive? It’s even got a white guy playing an Indian guy, and Steve Guttenberg! Instant classic.

Watch Short Circuit: Amazon | iTunes

Mrs. Doubtfire (1993), Directed by Chris Colombus – (IMDB 6.9/10)

Spending 3 hours dressing up like a 65-year old woman to spend time with your kids, including the bratty one… That’s called dedication. Who doesn’t love seeing James Bond get a lime thrown at the back of his head?

Watch Mrs. Doubtfire: Amazon | iTunes

Airborne (1993), Directed by Rob Bowman –  (6.2/10)

What’s more 90s than street hockey, downhill rollerblading, and Seth Green? Yes, that was Jack Black in this too.

Watch Airborne: Amazon

Pee Wee’s Big Adventure (1985), Directed by Tim Burton – (IMDB 7/10)

Even though Large Marge scared the crap out of every kid who watched this movie, Pee-Wee taught us important lessons like the lack of a basement in the Alamo, how to make friends at a biker bar, and to never leave your bike unattended.

Watch Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure: Amazon | iTunes

Badway’s List (in no particular order):

The Cable Guy (1996), Directed by Ben Stiller – (IMDB 6/10)

Everyone has had that pathetic friend that no one wants around. Wait. Maybe YOU’RE that friend! Anyway, The Cable Guy was Jim Carrey’s darkest and least commercially successful film of his historic mid 90’s run, but it also might be the wittiest and holds up quite well. Bonus points for a previously unknown Owen Wilson taking a brutal bathroom beating, which is actually Carrey’s second-funniest bathroom beating of his filmography (Liar, Liar).

Watch The Cable Guy: Amazon | iTunes

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994), Directed by Tom Shadyac – (IMDB 6.9/10)

Obviously, Jim Carrey had a big impact on my formative years. I wore this VHS out back in 1995. Ace Ventura expertly told one dirty adult joke after another, hiding them just well enough to zoom over any kid’s head under 12 years old. Now, every time I see Dan Marino, I want him to die of gonorrhea and rot in Hell. Would you like a cookie, son?

Watch Ace Ventura: Pet Detective: Amazon

The Wizard (1989), Directed by Todd Holland – (IMDB 6/10)

They don’t make ’em like they used to. I guess sometimes that’s a good thing. Likely borderline unwatchable now, The Wizard had that youthful independence feel to it, captured by similar films of it’s time (Mac & Me, Flight of the Navigator, Little Monsters), but with video games!!! What 8 year old could resist?

Watch The Wizard: Amazon | iTunes

Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker (1988), Directed by Jerry Kramer – (IMDB 5.9/10)

So it’s basically Michael Jackson music videos, with a loose story about Jacko befriending homeless children and protecting them from a pony-tailed, heroin peddling Joe Pesci. Somewhere along the way, MJ turns into a flying killer robot. Why are you still reading this? Go watch it!

Watch Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker: Amazon (DVD)

The Pest (1997), Directed by Paul Miller – (IMDB 5/10)

I like John Leguizamo’s work. Many others think he’s super annoying. In The Pest, he is hunted for sport. Even his haters could get some enjoyment from this film by openly rooting for the bad guy to mount his head to wall of his “wildlife room of death.” I loved this movie 20 years ago, but it’s basically an SNL type of skit stretched out for 90 minutes. It’s probably terrible now. I think I’ll leave it as a memory.

Watch The Pest: Amazon | iTunes

We’d love to hear what movies are on your list – let us know on Facebook, Twitter, or send us an email!

The Definitive Last Row(BOT) Ranking

Last weekend, Neill Blomkamp’s “Chappie” opened to tepid (at best) reviews and lackluster box-office totals. We at The Last Row couldn’t care less about snarky critics or sales figures. We came for the robots and stayed for the talents of Die Antwoord. On the robot front, Chappie did not disappoint. At movie’s end, it had us wondering: where does Chappie fit amongst the greatest movie robots of all time? We had work to do…

The following is The Definitive Last Row(BOT) Rankings. This list is not intended to determine which robot movie is best, but to scientifically rank the build and effectiveness of the bots that are featured within. Emotion was taken out of the equation, as we we used the 1’s and 0’s to rank the top ten and declare a true winner.

All bots were scored on 1-10 scale in five key categories:

Strength – how much does it bench?

Intelligence – are it smart and stuff?

Wit – is it funny on purpose or accidentally funny?

Trustwill it kill all humans?

Beauty – Hot or not?

Disclaimer: We know the difference between Androids, Cyborgs, and Robots. If anybody would like to debate us on that issue, may we direct you HERE?

There were so many favorites to sift through that, unfortunately, cuts had to be made. Much respect goes out to Paulie’s Robot from Rocky IV, Gerty 3000, Dot Matrix, and D.A.R.Y.L. We can’t all be winners!

Alright, let’s get into down to it!

The Definitive Last Row(BOT) Ranking

10. Evil Bill and Ted (Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey)

Evil Bill and Ted are exact robot replicas of human Bill and Ted, except they are totally uncool “evil metal dickweeds”, as Bill perfectly states. These two replicas score closely resembles what the actual Bill and Ted might score on such a scale. The bots get an uptick in strength and +1 on intelligence to their counterparts, but a low score in Trust, due to trying to dismantle a Utopian society and all. Total dick move, brahs. As for giving “full on robot chubbies”, Keanu scores a 10 for beauty, But Alex Winter brings the mean back down to 5.

Strength: 6

Intelligence: 2

Wit: 7

Trust: 1

Beauty: 5

Total: 21

9. Wall-E (Wall-E)

Wall-E is a “clean-up” robot who develops sentience after 700 years of cleaning up Earth on his own. He’s a loner and has a pretty positive attitude for a bot with real feels being left alone for centuries. He’s a wimp and kind of a simpleton, but he’s funny without saying a word, is a friend to all space humans, and is just so friggin adorable. He even pulls in a way-too-out-of-his-league Eve. Props.

Strength: 1

Intelligence: 3

Wit: 7

Trust: 9

Beauty: 10

Total: 30

8. Wafflebot (A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas)

He’s a lovable waffle-making robot, who was given to Harold and Kumar by Neil Patrick Harris. All he wanted was a friend, and when an abusive NPH passed him along to Kumar, an eternal bond was formed. Wafflebot is a shrimp and only knows two things: waffles and friendship, and his trust to humankind is only equaled by his cuteness. Plus, dude has pancake disses for days.

Strength: 2

Intelligence: 2

Wit: 7

Trust: 10

Beauty: 10

Total: 31

7. Sid 6.7 (Virtuosity)

Sid 6.7 is a computer program made up of over 150 serial killers, who somehow injects his CPU into nano-machine android. What? Never mind how it happened, just know that he’s a deadly bot that’s smarter, funnier, and more handsome than Denzel Washington, who is the only man that can track him down, obviously. Sid would’ve scored a perfect 10 for “beauty,” but this happened.

Strength: 6

Intelligence: 10

Wit: 7

Trust: 1

Beauty: 9

Total: 33

6. Lisa (Weird Science)

The only “female” of the group, Lisa makes a strong showing at number 6. The brainchild of two horny teenage dweebs, Lisa gives her makers the self-confidence needed to survive in an 80’s teen comedy. Only major points docked were for physical strength, but maybe that’s for the best. If Gary and Wyatt would’ve tried to “get physical” with her, it may have resulted in some “broken limbs”. Teledildonics were not as advanced in the 80’s as they are today…. or so we’ve heard.

Strength: 2

Intelligence: 7

Wit: 7

Trust: 8

Beauty: 10

Total: 34

5. David (Prometheus)

David is a synthetic android who served as a crew member aboard the USCSS Prometheus, tasked to assist human scientists search for answers about humanity’s past. David was a bit of a smug prick, whose motives were unclear throughout most of the film. He is brilliantly enhanced not only with supreme knowledge of endless data, but also equipped with the understanding of basic human emotion – rare in most robots. He understands and applies humor when necessary, and rates fairly highly on the “beauty” scale, for ladies who like their droids with Fassbender-ish qualities. Bonus points for his basketball skills.

Strength: 5

Intelligence: 10

Wit: 8

Trust: 5

Beauty: 7

Total: 35

4. Chappie (Chappie)

A police droid, who is programmed as the first robot with the ability to think and feel for itself, Chappie is well balanced in all five categories. Since he gained sentience with the mind of an infant, these abilities had to be developed. He’s funny by accident, but he understands the inner workings of human consciousness, so I guess he’s a bit brainy. Unfortunately, his trust can only go as far as his parents’ teachings. Strength points for whipping Wolverine’s ass.

Strength: 8

Intelligence: 10

Wit: 5

Trust: 6

Beauty: 7

Total: 36

3. Johnny 5 (Short Circuit)

This is why we don’t play favorites. If it were up to human emotion, Johnny 5 would’ve taken the gold. J5 scored just fine however, due to being the Jerry Seinfeld of robot wit, and his willingness to fight for what’s right. Points are docked because he’s a tad ugly, but it’s part of his charm, and he can be powered down by a push of a button, so strength takes a hit. However, if low on battery, just call on his insultingly not-Indian maker, Ben, to avoid disassembly.

Strength: 6

Intelligence: 7

Wit: 10

Trust: 9

Beauty: 5

Total: 37

2. R2D2 (Star Wars)

Everyone’s favorite astromech droid is our runner-up, clearly excelling in all but the strength category. Although he gets a “1” in strength, rest assured he is still tougher than his pansy-ass partner. The rest of the categories speak for themselves, with a bleep here and a boop there, his humor and smarts are rivaled by no other droid, and his lack of a memory wipe leads him to a chart-busting 11 on the human trust scale. We’re pretty sure R2 was the inspiration for that Rick Astley song. The lyrics describe him perfectly.

Strength: 1

Intelligence: 10

Wit: 9

Trust: 11

Beauty: 7

Total: 38

1. T-800 (Terminator 2: Judgement Day)

Narrowly defeating a small, funny, beeping ball of trust, the T-800 is your reigning, defending, undisputed robot champion of the world! We chose the “T-2” version, and if you don’t agree with us, please watch this instructional video. His strength is immeasurable, and his trust is 100%. He literally WILL NOT STOP until his mission is complete without causing human casualties. No really, he swears! His intelligence is a bit questionable, but he is a quick study, what with his Neural Net Processor and all. He’s mostly witty by accident, and his beauty speaks for itself. Game over.

Strength: 10

Intelligence: 5

Wit: 6

Trust: 10

Beauty: 8

Total: 39

We trust that the system computed the correct ranking, and we stand by our champion. However, the top score of 39/50 leaves the door open for any number of future movie robots to one day snatch that top spot. We can only hope, although the next five robot movies will most certainly be Transformer movies…

Do you agree with our list? Disagree? Drop us a line and chime in! Also be sure to check out our “Chappie” podcast episode for our thoughts on that movie, and much more on this list.

The Last Row Podcast Holiday Giveaway!

One of the hottest holiday debates in recent years has been questioning whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie or not. We won’t reveal our opinion on the matter, but we want to hear yours. In fact, we want to know what you all think so much that we designed a giveaway around it. We will discuss the giveaway in detail on the Home Alone 2: Lost in New York upcoming episode.

Here are the rules…

1. Follow us on Twitter

2. Like us on Facebook

3. Tweet us, OR post on our Facebook wall, OR email us (thelastrowpodcast [at] gmail [dot] com), OR leave a comment on this post giving us your opinion. We want to know whether you think Die Hard is a Christmas movie or not, along with your best supporting argument.

The winner will receive a very special prize based on our upcoming New Years episode (Ghostbusters II). We’re allowing submissions until December 31. We’ll select who we think has the best argument and announce the winner on on our social media accounts on January 1, and on the following podcast. Make sure to leave us a way to contact you. Good luck to all!